MyPromise Day 1! "Ode to Traveler"

I haven't posted a blog since May 9th, tells you how much I've been on the computer lately. I've had a lot going on in my world, so I haven't wanted to add to the time away from my husband by getting on the computer, one room away from where he hangs out. So, yesterday I bought myself a wireless router which will take care of that little problem! I can hang out with him and blog at the same time!!

Making a promise and keeping it means a lot to me, unfortunately it just wasn't possible for me to be true to my word these last l6 days, so I decided that I'm going to start over...determined I am, to get 28 days in a row of blogging!

This will then be Day 1! Ode to Traveler

My husband is still in so much pain, and has so much nausea. The image I see of him when I close my eyes is him sitting in his recliner, leaning forward with his head bent down almost to his knees. I am so powerless to help him, to take away his nausea...his pain...his depression. Sometimes the sadness of it all just overcomes me. I pray for him every day, but I still don't see the kind of relief, the kind of recovery that I imagine for him. I want him better right now. Like yesterday! I hate cancer. 

Though I can't take away his experience, there is much I can do to help him through it all. Every day I set out his daily medications and his vitamins, and I rub his neck, shoulders and back twice a day. He really loves that..I make him relax and take deep breaths, sometimes I massage his face, especially when I see the deep furrows in his brow from squeezing his eyebrows together from all that pain. Can't tell you how many times I've told him to relax his face! Tuesday I will be scheduling an appointment for him to see a psychiatrist so that he and his anti-depressant's and anxiety meds can get evaluated. I'm so glad he is agreeing to go, he can be such a stubborn patient!

Traveler

2 weeks ago he had to sell his 1983 Ford Bronco to a Pick N Pull lot because no one was interested in buying it. It hasn't worked in nearly 2 years (needed a new motor) It's been his ride for longer then I've known him, and we have many fond memories with it. It took us to and from Virginia on a 30 day road trip back in 2000! We named it "Traveler," it was definitely a red-neck ride complete with HUGE tires! I had to climb a ladder to wash it's windows! LOL! Even though he knew it was time for it to go, it really plunged him further into his depression, me too. It seemed like it was another thing to lose to this disease. I know in my heart that we would have gotten rid of Traveler anyway since "He" was such a gas guzzler, but for right now it's cancers fault. It was hard coming home that first day and seeing the driveway empty. Just today I drove past our house because it wasn't there. I shook my head and then cracked up, as I backed up to our home. Thank God I can see the humor in things, it's just one way I've found of sticking it to cancer! Traveler was so much fun to drive, and I could parallel park it better then he could! At least that's the way I see it! Thank you for being of such great service to us, old boy. I'm crying. It's hard to let go, to walk through change, but I'm doing it, snotty nose and all!